Do you really Love Yourself?
We have talked too much about self-esteem, self-discovery, self-love, and that way of living that is only healthy if we respect ourselves. It is important to cultivate our self-esteem and know how it is at all times, that is, do we love ourselves enough?
This issue is essential to never face failure in life and that, to give ourselves the value we deserve.
But there is also a lot of confusion about these terms, some confuse self-esteem with pride, others with arrogance, and there are those who think that self-esteem must be high instead of healthy.
What you need to ask yourself to know if you really love yourself:
What is clear is that loving each other is not a joke and that it can be crucial in our existence. So today we are going to check certain questions that will help us to know if we love each other well and how our self-esteem is. The idea of hating yourself seems absurd, and yet it happens more than we think. In these times, being our own enemy is fashionable, and the self-boycott has become something of a national sport.
However, we should not worry, it is possible to realize and stop it. The first thing, be aware of how much we love each other. Four questions that will help you know how your self-love is:
Image link Jade@jinxx2020 How to love Yourself
Do you avoid conflict?
There are people who are not capable of having an argument, and when we have a conflict insight, we do not know very well what to do. In these cases, when we know that we can have a confrontation with a person and we back down, our self-esteem may be low, not always, but the relationship that exists in this statement is that to the extent that we do not develop our love sufficiently itself, we are not able to believe how much we can do and that’s when our forces falter and we better avoid the conflict.
A person with low self-esteem usually avoids this type of confrontation, pretending for example that everything is fine. If you have identified with this situation, there is probably something you can do to improve your self-esteem and verify that you are worth more than you imagine and that you surely have great strength to defend what you believe in.
Does your self-esteem depend on your physical appearance?
Criticizing our body is something normal. We all have complexes and something we would like to change. However, every failure we see in ourselves, every obsession we have with our physical appearance, is a symptom of a lack of self-esteem. There are people who are not capable of being seen without grooming because they do not feel completely confident, so it is difficult for us to show ourselves as we are.
The reality is this: neither perfection exists nor our appearance makes us better or worse people. Self-acceptance plays an important role here. You have to love yourself as you are, regardless of physical appearance. We all have something that defines us and makes us unique, think about it and you will see how it works.
Do you compare yourself to others?
How bad are the comparisons! The comparisons are odious and all we have done on occasion. The person on our side will always have a better car, a better partner, and a better house: In short; it is very easy to see how others have a better life than ours. In these cases, do not underestimate yourself.
When comparing ourselves we have to see that most of the time we do not have enough data. Social networks do not help us in this sense, because they give us a weak emotional value, and they make us see that everyone has a better life than ours, when most of the time, it is all fiction. We compare ourselves when we feel insecure and that makes us feel even more insecure. Stop and think about everything you have and what makes you happy, you may be surprised. Here’s how to stop comparing yourself to others?
Are you on the defensive?
People with low self-esteem may be defensive or sensitive. If you feel that others take advantage of these sensitivities and that nobody values you enough, this may be a justification for this behavior.
Thus, toxic relationships and misunderstandings, and susceptibilities are the order of the day. If a person has truly disappointed you, then you have the right to show your anger, but in the opposite cases, it is better to stop and think and then react, especially because in this way we will not lose out emotionally. Here’s how to control your emotions gently.
2 Common Situations in which You Self-Boycott and You Shouldn’t
It’s strange to think how many times we boycott ourselves. And it is that consciously no one would hinder our own desires or goals, and yet, humans practice self-boycott more often than we might believe. Fortunately or unfortunately, the human mind is very complex and fear appears for both good and bad. It is precisely this fear that makes us self-boycott more than we would like. And in this situation, it is our self-esteem that has everything to lose.
If you still don’t know what self-boycott is, try how we trip ourselves up and convince ourselves that we won’t be able to get what we want. It can be in love, at work or in studies. The case is to convince ourselves that we are not enough for our desires and we do everything possible to prove it.
The two moments we always Self-boycott:
While it is true that there are endless situations in which we boycott ourselves without even realizing it. It is also true that they can be summarized in two main moments. One of the serious consequences of Self-boycott is that we do not realize that we are doing it. Therefore, knowing when we do it can give us the best clues on how to stop doing it.
1. In Love
Boycotting oneself in relationships is something that happens more often than we would like. It happens to us a lot and not only do we suffer it ourselves, but many times, we make the other person involved suffer it. There are endless ways to boycott yourself in love, so read carefully because some may sound familiar to you.
It can be fear of not finding a partner, commitment, intimacy, or rejection: in the end, it is fear of love. To begin with, many people say they want a relationship but still do nothing to seek it. It is not necessary to search for a partner desperately, but if we stay at home if our social circle is reduced to the maximum, and if we do nothing to meet new people, surely that partner will not appear.
Other common situations in which we boycott ourselves in love are those of thinking that it is not worth it. You have met someone special and you want to meet her and spend more time with her, but you are afraid that this will take away your individuality, or worse, that she will know you and get tired, so you convince yourself that it is not for you. It is the stage of the relationship of the buts, the oddities, and clumsiness that end up spoiling the relationship.
2. When you succeed
Yes, fieldwork is another aspect where the self-boycott manifests itself more frequently. This usually happens to people who are very perfectionists, who demand a lot of themselves and are not able to withstand the pressure of not having everything under control. One of the first things that happen when we are successful is that we get overwhelmed and out of control in many ways. If a person has grown up in a very rigid environment, where everything has to be done well and everything planned, it may not support this situation.
On the other hand, confidence and self-esteem also play an important role at this point. The negative thoughts and recurring type “do not deserve it” or “not good at this” may haunt the mind of the person leading you to not get what you want, no matter how capable it is. The person who has success and low self-esteem feels like a fraud and thinks that at any moment he will be discovered.
How to stop self-limiting?
The negative thoughts are the basis of the self-boycott. After a long day at work, phrases may come to mind that demotivates you and even underestimate you. Learning to identify them and to resort to them will be the basis for this self-boycott to disappear.
The first thing to do to stop self-limiting is to realize that it is happening. If you notice that you have any thoughts of this type, do not let them go or try to think of something else.
The second tip to stop self-limiting is quite related to eliminating negative thoughts from your mind. What we can do is try to write down these thoughts and try to reason with them. You can do it alone or with a trusted friend, you know that it will be sincere. Together you can turn your thoughts around and follow the path to success. So,
What would you like to add to stop Self-boycotting?
You might also like:
Self Sabotage: How to Stop Sabotaging Yourself
How to have Confidence in Yourself when nobody believes in you
Self-compassion: Definition and Three Elements of Self Compassion