Fear of Failure and Fear of change
Fear of failure is also called “atychiphobia”. It is when we allow that fear to stop us doing the things that can move us forward to achieve our life goals. Fear of failure can be due to many reasons. It may be part of another mood disorder, eating disorder, or anxiety disorder. You may also deal with atychiphobia (Fear of failure) at times throughout your life if you’re a perfectionist.
Every time when we dream something outstanding or start a new business we have some level of fear of Failure in our minds. This Fear of Failure and Fear of Change limit us and prevent us from achieving our goals and desires, as well as satisfying our needs. Some people prefer to stay in comfort zone and can’t succeed in stepping out of the comfort zone.
Do you feel threatened by change or have experienced Fear of failure somehow?
“The strongest of the species does not survive, nor the most intelligent, but only the one who best reacts to change.” (Darwin’s Origin of Species).
The fear of failure in our life:
How many times have you found yourself in an annoying, difficult, or painful situation and you do nothing or almost nothing to change it?
How many times do you think that there is nothing to do or that it is better not to risk it?
One of the biggest obstacles to improving our self-esteem and our life, in general, is the fear of change and the fear of failure.
The known gives us the impression of security and stability, even though we are suffering. This fear is what prevents us from withdrawing from problematic and difficult relationships or situations. It does not allow us to work to improve our self-esteem. Nor fight for our welfare. And it is the reason for the phrase “Better bad for known, than good for knowing.“
The fear of change includes the fear of failure, success, compromise, losing certain things or privileges, rejection, etc.
What is the reason for the fear of change?
There are many reasons that prevent us from changing and success in life:
- Low self-esteem, which is reflected in two types of thinking: I am not going to be well, because I do not deserve it. I don’t have the ability to solve the problems that come with change or to do whatever it takes to be successful.
- The possibility of losing the attention and support we receive from people around us who want to help us or who “understand” our problems.
- The mistaken belief that to change is to be unstable.
- Having changes associated with crises.
- With external situations that force us to change, without wanting or being prepared for it.
- The response of the people around us, which can be very negative.
Our change can cause distress and discomfort in some people, whose response can be criticism or rejection.
- Catastrophic and extremist thoughts, especially how bad the change is going to bring.
- The wrong habit of evaluating ourselves based on what we do or have.
Therefore, we think that if we fail, our values might be diminished by people.
- We think that there is also a possibility of losing control over our lives and circumstances.
- Lack of control, even momentary, causes us anguish, so we try to avoid it.
Feeling fear of an unknown situation, which can threaten our well-being, is normal.
The problem arises when we allow ourselves to be driven by that fear or “feed” it with a series of wrong thoughts and negative emotions.
It is not easy to change, because, in addition to the fears that prevent us, our way of thinking and acting has become automatic.
As automatic are the thoughts that keep our self-esteem low and feed the fear of failure to our minds.
Sometimes we are not even aware of these thoughts, and the feelings, and motives for our behaviors.
But if fear or not wanting to make the effort keeps us in the same place, our life will never be the way we want it. We can only improve it…:
What can you do to overcome fear of Failure?
It is a fact that what you are doing is not giving you the well-being you want. Therefore, it is the best time to act.
Remember what Albert Einstein said: “If you are looking for different results, don’t always do the same thing.” You can only get different and changing results if you aren’t repeating the same things over and over again. So, choose a specific situation in which you want to improve or you can focus on raising your self-esteem. Do your best and throw out the fear of failure from your life, sooner or later, success will be yours.
We are a unit and the results in one aspect have an impact on others. However, don’t work on many things at the same time. But remember that change is a slow process and it can’t be achieved over night.
It is like planting the seed of a tree. You need to take care of it and feed it and little by little the plant emerges. Until one day you turn around and see a strong and beautiful tree.
Describe the situation that is causing you anguish, pain, discomfort, and/or problems.
Write, in as much detail as possible:
Everything negative that is associated with that situation.
How will your life be when you change that situation?
Now close your eyes and imagine yourself in your new reality. Observe how you feel, how you act, etc. Fix that image in your mind. Now!
Do you know what you need to do to achieve your dream and vision?
What is preventing you from obtaining it?
One of the biggest obstacles is our way of thinking. Try to realize what you are thinking. If it’s difficult for you, imagine what anyone in that situation would think.
Analyze those thoughts and see where and when you learned to think like this.
Do you think they are still appropriate for your way of being and for today’s life?
If they are inadequate to achieve your goals, change them.
What would the person you admire the most tell you if you told them what those thoughts are that are causing you harm?
What would you suggest as an alternative?
In the articles on stress and our thoughts, our worries, and how to overcome them, you will find information that can help you. Also, check out the articles on our wrong thinking style and how to change it.
Analyze what scares you when you think about changing.
What do you think can happen?
Review those fears and see how real they are.
They are most likely a bit exaggerated.
Think of all that you are losing by letting yourself be governed by fears or ideas that may be wrong or exaggerated.
If you don’t know what to do to change or improve your situation or how to do it, seek help.
But look for a family member, friend, or person who really has the capacity, knowledge, and objectivity to help you find the best solution. Or turn to books and articles, serious and reliable, related to the subject.
If you are working on your self-esteem, you most likely need the help of someone who has experience in this regard. But remember that never take advice from a person not related to that field or not interested in your matters of life.
Every time you get discouraged and want to go back to your old behavior, think that, even if it is uncomfortable or difficult at the moment, you are building the foundation for a better life.
If you start to have doubts, talk to yourself as you would talk to your best friend, to help him achieve what he wants.
It is not worth being a prisoner of fear.
In the long run, the suffering is much greater.
When you feel fear of failure, remember that it is proven that 90% of the negative things that we think are going to happen never happen.
Why imagine the worst, if you can imagine the best?
Always keep in your mind the image of what you are going to achieve and how you are going to feel.
Remember that you are the owner of your thoughts. You generate them and you can exchange them for others. And when we change our way of thinking, our emotions, feelings; our behaviors, and life in general change.
The following information may be of great use to you: Develop your willpower, learn to handle a lack of motivation, and a low tolerance for frustration.
So, Now it’s your turn:
Have you ever experienced Fear of Failure. If yes, what’s your way to overcome this fear?
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