Nobody wants to suffer; we all want to be happy how to be happy in yourself
If we all agree on something as human beings, it is that nobody wants to suffer and we all want to be happy. The problem is that we think that happiness is conquered when in reality, happiness is awakened from very specific habits that we have to exercise and train in everyday life.
While it is true that the genetic factor intervenes, there are people who have “more facility” to tune in to the joy of living. This is only true in a small percentage. In other words, you can say that we have a wide margin in which we can work. In my opinion;
Feeling happy depends largely on the habits we maintain in our daily lives.
Myths about Happiness:
It does not depend on what is obtained. The first thing we have to demystify is that happiness is associated with the achievement of a certain goal or objective. While it is true that when we achieve something that we set out to do, our level of well-being increases, this feeling does not last in time.
That is, it does not increase our happiness index. It only makes us happy for a relatively short period of time. Spending our lives chasing carrots exhausts us because happiness is not a result obtained but a way of positioning ourselves.
It does not mean being happy all the time: happiness doesn’t mean; not feeling stressed, not feeling negative emotions, or being smiling at all times.
On the contrary, emotions such as sadness, discouragement, and dissatisfaction, when questioned are like compasses that guide us where and where not to. The emotions we feel bring us a message that we need to hear.
This way of looking at them is very different from the idea of quickly escaping from them or trying to eliminate them as soon as possible. The only people who don’t feel painful emotions are psychopaths and dead people. So, if you are feeling them; be glad you’re alive and blood is running through your veins. So,
Happiness is not feeling sad or achieving certain goals.
What are the habits of happiness that we can exercise?
If we want to feel a state of lasting internal satisfaction, rather than a momentary and ephemeral pleasure associated with external circumstances, we need to take into account the following principles and skills:
1. Build deep and meaningful relationships:
Happiness is intimately associated with building deep and meaningful relationships. It is not about having a million friends but having a few of very good quality. Trusted people with whom we can feel ourselves without armor. This does not mean that we should avoid being alone in order not to feel unhappy.
It is very different to be alone than to feel alone. There are many people who feel alone even surrounded by a lot of people. And this is because their relationships are not deep and intimate enough. We have to learn to bridge the gap between the inner world and the outer world. Go inside and exchange with the rest. We are not islands. We are social beings in interaction. Therefore, invest energy in building bonds of intimacy and affinity.
2. Simplify your life:
Doing one thing at a time with full presence nurtures us much more than doing five at the same time and “not being in any of them with full awareness.” In such a hectic and fast-paced world, having those backwater islands reassures us.
If you are playing with your child, play and stop looking at the clock at the same time. If you are chatting with your wife, listen to her and do not answer that email that can wait. And if you are with your friend, stop chatting with your neighbor. Learn to pay attention to be where you are.
So you will learn to enjoy what is to enjoy? Get the juice out of the fruit of what you are experiencing. If you are halfway through, do not squeeze out the richness of that experience.
3. Exercise your body:
Physical exercise is essential. Physical activities have to become a sacred habit in your life. Whatever your age, your weight, or the amount of time you have on your schedule.
If you don’t have a space in your busy routine, then start leaving that margin with the highlighter. Daily physical activity, even 30 minutes of walking, releases norepinephrine, serotonin, and dopamine, which is equivalent to the most powerful psychiatric medication. Your body is your medicine. Here are the Benefits of physical activities.
4. Allow yourself to be just a human being:
Being happy also goes hand in hand with allowing ourselves to be human beings. In a culture that flaunts perfectionism, condemns error, and pretends to be superheroes, the truly heroic act is to transcend that mandate and turn a deaf ear to what spoils us and stresses us much more than what relieves us.
Make a mistake, rest, learn to say no, and give yourself permission to make a mistake without condemning yourself. Learn to love yourself with your defects without ceasing to improve yourself. Not seeking to be perfect but in favor of your own growth. And also give others permission to be, without condemning or judging them for their shortcomings.
After all, we are just mortal human beings who do what we can; sometimes we are better off others not so much. The important thing is not to stop trying to be better people every day, without crushing us, with love and good treatment.
5. Express Gratitude:
Feeling grateful means stopping taking the miraculous for granted. How many things that you have today and are not grateful for, would suddenly become important and valuable if you stopped having them.
Do not take for granted your health, your affections, your food, your work, your breath, the water you drink, a smile, a caress, your home, your pet, your clear mind. Feel them as a blessing because any day they could stop being in your life and there you will realize the value they had.
Be grateful! You will find reasons at every step, as many as you can easily find to complain. Be grateful for that call, that song that makes you vibrate, that flavor that you like so much, your clean sheets, your body that allows you to walk and kick that ball that you like so much. Being able to appreciate with your eyes the beauty of a flower, thanks to the motor skills of your hands that allow you to write, draw, hug, cook, and raise that glass of wine that suits your palate so well.
Look into the eyes of that person you love, that friend who is always there with you. That unconditional mother, your life partner, your daughter, your son, and thanks to them for their presence, for being “there.”
Do not thank because you are happy, thank to be happy and you will be.
6. Look for a meaning to what you do:
Do activities that give a deeper meaning to your life and not only provide you with money and pleasure. In addition to liking them, try to make them have a meaning, that they contribute to something greater, and more lasting, and that they transcend you. We are very happy to do something good for others and to feel beneficial for others.
Solidarity gratifies us, gives us peace, makes us feel like useful and kind beings, and awakens within us a healthy personal pride that comforts us. Knowing that action, a piece of advice, a word, a gesture, collaborated with the well-being of another human being, makes him smile, leads him to ask questions, relieves him of a difficulty… it feels wonderful. Why? Because that other is each one of us, everything is united, in permanent interdependence.
Happiness is a collective heritage. There is no happiness more heartfelt than shared.
Create daily happiness and the sum of your days will make your life a happier life. There is nothing magic here, on the contrary: they are habits, that, sustained over time, generate new neural connections associated with happiness.
When you feel unhappy, take a break and look at your life…
What are you leaving aside?
How do you live?
What do you care about a lot, don’t you?
What if what made you happy before did you stop doing or abandon?
Being happy is a decision that is trained in the gym of your life every day.
Does everything depend on us?
Of course not… but be sure to do your part and you will go through the inevitable pains like all mortals, no more. Do not add additional suffering for the carelessness of letting yourself be. Be the protagonist of the share of happiness that you can give yourself and give away. Because being happy is also an act of generosity because you will have love and a good time to give to others.
I encourage you to put these tips into practice. They will surely be of benefit. And remember… nothing valuable is built overnight. If you want to feel happy, sustain over time those habits that heal you from the inside and bring light to your gaze.
You might also like:
7 Rules for a Successful and Happier Life