How to Deal with a Negative Person & Stay Positive

“He who hugs a good tree, a good shade covers him.” You may have probably heard this phrase thousands of times, but are not aware that we put it into practice often. It is true that this saying is very right. Well, the people around you have a great influence on you and can modify your behavior in a positive or negative way. How to deal with negative people?

Negative people are all around, but how to deal with their negativity and stay positive is a skill that everyone needs to master to stay optimistic and motivated in life. Many times and almost without knowing how we end up linked to “toxic” people. Those who always have a negative comment or a panorama so dull, that it would discourage even the most optimistic. And precisely because their attitude and comments always end up undermining our good humor, in this detailed article we are going to give you some keys so that you know how to identify negative people and learn to neutralize their presence.

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Why is it important? How to deal with a negative person?

Here is the importance of surrounding yourself with people who bring you positive things and help you advance in everything you set out to do. Remember that toxic people are only responsible for creating non-existent obstacles in your way, moving you further and further away from your goal.

How to deal with negative people
Image from Unsplash (Ben White) How to deal with negative people

Identifying negative people is a very important step, as it will allow you to know who can bring good things to your life and who cannot. If a person you hardly know, you can limit contact with him and if he/she is a loved one, work to reduce his/her negative effects on your emotions and life.

How to point out the Negative people around you?

Identifying negative people is not a difficult task, as it only requires the least concentration. We see five types of negative people in our day-to-day activities. These are:

1. The Envious:

One of the most negative types of people that we can meet in our daily life is those who envy our success and all the good that happens in our life. They often show it with irritating comments and attitudes of dislike or with skepticism when we achieve something good.

In addition, envious people always seek to be the center of attention even when you are the protagonist of a positive event. The best way to neutralize these types of people is by limiting the information that we share with them. Faced with good news, surround yourself with those who are happy for you and give you only good energy. How to deal with negative people?

2. Could always be better:

There is a type of negative people who can sneak around for a long time until we get to know them well. They are the ones who constantly claim that they could always have been better, people dissatisfied with their lives and that of others. For example, if you buy a new car and you’re happy about it, these types of people will say “It’s nice but it would be better with leather seats, don’t you think?” If you get a good grade then they’ll say “That’s good, but the exam was easy. Don’t you think?”

Nothing is ever enough, so it is best not to allow their attitude to reach you. If you are happy with your achievement then use it as a shield, enjoy the moment, and do not allow any of this to enter your mind.

3. The one who always complains:

If there is a negative type of person who can consume our energy quickly, it is the one who constantly complains about everything, from the country and the economy to basic details such as the food in a restaurant or the plan they have chosen to spend the night of the Saturday.

If possible, it is best to limit contact with someone like that, but when it comes to an intimate person then we must either ignore their constant regrets or combat them with positive responses, something that can neutralize the other over time to the point that they understand that complaints with you have neither support nor feedback. How to deal with negative people?

4. The gossip viper:

Always remember this: a person who constantly speaks ill of absolutely everyone around him will also do the same to you, you are no exception. That’s why gossip people always find the negative side of every situation and use it to create rumors, so be very careful, and with them, you must not share very personal and sensitive information that cannot be disclosed, as in this case, the damage may be greater.

5. Use your intuition:

Identifying negative people is not a difficult task, it only requires attention and it is that at the end of the day, those who do not have anything good to contribute are easy to point out. Remember that it is important to always keep the mind positive and charge ourselves with positive energy to allow good things to come to us.

how to handle Negative people
Image from Unsplash (Jr Korpa @jrkorpa)

3 Tricks to avoid surrounding yourself with toxic people

According to a study by Robert Waldinger, a psychoanalyst and professor at Harvard Medical School, and his team, good relationships make people happier and healthier. In this study, an analysis of the old age and adolescence of 724 elderly men was made, in which they were asked several questions about their work, their private life, their health, and others.

But what can you do to avoid toxic people? How to deal with negative people?

1. Walk away and set limits:

It may be a bit difficult for you to keep a positive outlook all the time, as problems can appear at any time and sometimes cannot be avoided. However, it is very important that you strive to maintain a good mental balance and avoid going to the extreme.

For this reason, the first thing you need to do is get away from all those toxic people who make you angry and see problems where there are none. Keep in mind that many of these people cannot stand feeling frustrated and that is why they always seek to take it out on others so that they feel the same or worse than them.

Some of the strategies you can use to set limits and stay as far away from these people as possible are:

Stay as far away from these people as possible, and treat them only when strictly necessary. Talk to these people about how uncomfortable their attitude is and how much this situation affects you and others also if it is so.

Use humor, and avoid following their game. Stay positive all the time. If they want to see you angry, show them that you don’t have time to be bitter about nonsense.

2. Analyze the situation from different perspectives:

In this way, you will be able to realize if this situation of discontent is really so serious that you feel bad and are about to throw in the towel. Apart from this, you will be able to think with a cool head to find an appropriate solution to all those problems you have with these toxic people.

According to Alberto Rubín Martín, Bachelor of Psychology and Master of Human Resources, people with high emotional intelligence always enjoy everything they do and feel lucky for what they have achieved. For this reason, they avoid at all costs that their happiness depends on what others say or think of them.

Finally, avoid comparing yourself to others, just go your way and try to do your best to achieve your goal. Also, keep in mind that many times problems are simply a new opportunity to reinvent yourself and change what does not work.

3. Look for enriching relationships:

Instead of interacting with people who do not bring you anything good, spend more time with those who can make you great contributions. If you need someone to give you their opinion about the work you have done, try that, that person instead of sinking you deeper into the problem offers you concrete solutions.

On the other hand, surrounding yourself with positive people who do not give up in the face of difficulties and who are very clear about what they want, will allow you to gain the strength to pursue your goals. And even if problems appear, you will always be willing to do whatever you can to overcome them.

Finally, remember that you are the only one who can make the change; nobody will do it in your place. Don’t make any more excuses. Believe in yourself and your abilities to prevent these toxic people from affecting you. Don’t wait for things to get worse.

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How to crush Negativity and Negative people from your life?

The negative people around you are a challenge because if you don’t neglect them, they will demotivate you and absorb all your energy. Such a person can end your best plan to achieve something. Whether your child or partner has an occasional negative day or you have a chronically negative family member, coworker, or friend, there are things you can do to stay positive around them.

1. Let the negativity pass:

In no way can you argue with a negative person. A discussion, just adds gasoline to the fire. A negative person will feed negativity that reinforces their mood or attitude. Observe when children are in a bad mood, it is best to avoid trying to convince them to analyze and adjust their attitude. As soon as your approach is contrary to what they are thinking or experiencing, they will seize the opportunity to prove to you that life is horrible. His negativity intensifies and the situation worsens before it gets better. Sometimes the best thing you can do is to keep quiet and let the negativity pass.

Offer him a hug even when he rejects you, and remember not to take this rejection personally because a negative person often has trouble receiving love from others.

2. Negative people need love:

You know how difficult it can be to give negative people love and positive attention. Unfortunately, it is precisely what they need. Deep down, that aggressive and critical person is a person with the fear of not being accepted or loved. It is our challenge to rise above that negative attitude and loves the inner person who feels hurt. Now let’s go a bit deeper!

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How can you show your love to a Negative person? How to deal with a negative person?

You should listen to what he is trying to tell you. Ask how you can help him/her. This will show a legitimate interest in his/her happiness. Offer him a hug, even when he rejects you, and remember not to take this rejection personally, because a negative person often has trouble receiving love from others.

1. Focus on the positives in the situation:

If you really try hard, there is always something positive in any situation. Even a negative person has positive qualities, but when he is mired in his negativity, it will be very difficult for him to see the positive side of any situation. Many times people focus on the negative aspects of themselves, forgetting about the great things they are accomplishing.

I admit that sometimes a negative person does not want to see the positive side of the problem because this would require a change of mind. Negativity can become a habit, and it is difficult to break unless the same person wants them. Be patient, and kindly comment to this person that there must be something good to focus on; you may make them react and think about what you are saying.

2. Ask the negative person to explain:

You may have heard a negative person say something like: “You can’t trust the doctors”; or “My husband humiliates me”. These statements are something called “generalizations,” and to help this person through their distorted thinking, ask them to specify what they mean. Ask which doctor can’t you trust?

What specifically does your husband do that makes you feel humiliated?

Push the person into evaluating what they are really trying to tell you. Such a person either gives up because it is difficult for him to explain himself, or he will delve deeper into the problem.

3. Don’t get involved and avoid trying to change a negative person:

Learning to emotionally separate yourself from someone negative can greatly benefit you and the other person. A negative person will defend himself if you try to change him. If you want, you can try to agree with what this person tells you.

If he tells you that co-workers are selfish, you accept and agree with him. And if he tells you that all mechanics give poor service, join his belief. Accept and agree to what she says, until she gets tired and stops arguing.

4. If you can, stay away from negative people:

If you have negative people around you who are affecting your health, you need to evaluate, whether or not you want to have them in your life. Some are so chronically negative that you have no choice but to get away from them, if possible because if this type of person is part of your family, it is difficult to separate, but it will help you to see them less and that the encounters are very away from each other. If this type of behavior is experienced by someone very close to you, it is best to seek therapy that helps them to free themselves and change their way of thinking, because their negativity will affect the whole family.

5. Observe your own negative thoughts and behaviors

If you stay focused on observing your behaviors and what you think throughout the day, you will be pushing away negativity, and it will be much easier for you to stay positive.

  • Try to connect with positive people who encourage you to be the best you can be.
  • Use positive affirmations to end negative self-talk.
  • Express your gratitude for all the positive things you have in life.
  • Take the time every day to observe the beautiful things around you.
  • Read topics that inspire you and listen to upbeat music.
  • Do what you have to do to stay positive and happy, despite the negativity you face.

Dealing with negative people is certainly a difficult thing that requires patience and understanding, but it is also important that we stay in our place. We must not allow ourselves to be carried away by the negativity of other people and we must try to act thinking that each one is responsible for their own happiness, that in life and in every moment there are priorities, and that being mature often implies making difficult decisions.

It is also important that we know ourselves well and are humble enough to detect our own negativity. Well, many times, the difficulties that arise to deal with the negativity of another can be caused by our own negativity. You can make the world a better place with your attitude, and who takes it away and you can infect others so that they change their attitude and can live better.

Finally, another tip that works very well is to repeat that from this situation, no matter how annoying or uncomfortable it may be, you can also learn and grow as a person. Turn adversity into opportunity.

How many negative people do you know and how do you deal with them?

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